Expendables 2

Okay. I know. In my last post (over a month ago! GAH! how did that happen?!) I promised all kinds of posts on the summer blockbusters. And then I went to San Diego Comic-Con. It was AMAZING, but I contracted the dreaded ConSARS while I was there. You know, stuff thousands of people in a convention centre, next thing you know it's 'Contagion' all over again. ANYWAYS. My brain turned off a little bit. And then I didn't really see any other movies. I know, blasphemous! And then the first thing I go see is 'Expendables 2'? Maybe I'm still sick...
Let me be honest. This movie is bad. Fortunately for this flick there's a lot of 'this is so bad, it's good'. Unfortunately, there's also a lot of this is just bad. But, it isn't that terrible of a way to turn off your brain for 103 minutes.
You remember the first 'Expendables', right? Lots of explosions and fighting, gunfire and kinda snappy, self-aware one liners. Well, welcome to 'Expendables 2'. The explosions are bigger, but with Jet Li getting out of the picture about half an hour in, the hand to hand fighting isn't quite up to par. That being said the Stallone VS Jean-Claude Van Damme fight at the end is pretty amazing. JCVD even does one of his patented round house kicks to Stallone's head. It was kind of awesome.
The other awesome part of this movie: Chuck Norris. Well, sort of. He shows up with all kinds of kickassery, and you can't help but cheer, 'cause it's Chuck Freakin' Norris. But, for some reason when he appears they play Clint's tune from 'The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.' It's odd, and I still don't get it. Despite the weird theme music, he does show up and generally kick all kinds of bad guys behinds, so that's pretty great.
It's true there is an actual 'plot' in the movie, but I use that word fairly loosely, since this is a script that could've used a rewrite or two. It involves lost plutonium and a crazy baddie trying to capitalise on it. But, that's really not what we're coming to see the movie now is it? It's to see all the Planet Hollywood action stars on the big screen together! That certainly happens! Arnold and Bruce are back with more screen time...and terrible dialogue.

Arnold: I'll be back (for about the third or fourth time in the movie)
Bruce: No, you've been back enough! I'll be back.
Arnold: *eye roll* Yippee-ki-yay

Geesh.