Expendables 2

Okay. I know. In my last post (over a month ago! GAH! how did that happen?!) I promised all kinds of posts on the summer blockbusters. And then I went to San Diego Comic-Con. It was AMAZING, but I contracted the dreaded ConSARS while I was there. You know, stuff thousands of people in a convention centre, next thing you know it's 'Contagion' all over again. ANYWAYS. My brain turned off a little bit. And then I didn't really see any other movies. I know, blasphemous! And then the first thing I go see is 'Expendables 2'? Maybe I'm still sick...
Let me be honest. This movie is bad. Fortunately for this flick there's a lot of 'this is so bad, it's good'. Unfortunately, there's also a lot of this is just bad. But, it isn't that terrible of a way to turn off your brain for 103 minutes.
You remember the first 'Expendables', right? Lots of explosions and fighting, gunfire and kinda snappy, self-aware one liners. Well, welcome to 'Expendables 2'. The explosions are bigger, but with Jet Li getting out of the picture about half an hour in, the hand to hand fighting isn't quite up to par. That being said the Stallone VS Jean-Claude Van Damme fight at the end is pretty amazing. JCVD even does one of his patented round house kicks to Stallone's head. It was kind of awesome.
The other awesome part of this movie: Chuck Norris. Well, sort of. He shows up with all kinds of kickassery, and you can't help but cheer, 'cause it's Chuck Freakin' Norris. But, for some reason when he appears they play Clint's tune from 'The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.' It's odd, and I still don't get it. Despite the weird theme music, he does show up and generally kick all kinds of bad guys behinds, so that's pretty great.
It's true there is an actual 'plot' in the movie, but I use that word fairly loosely, since this is a script that could've used a rewrite or two. It involves lost plutonium and a crazy baddie trying to capitalise on it. But, that's really not what we're coming to see the movie now is it? It's to see all the Planet Hollywood action stars on the big screen together! That certainly happens! Arnold and Bruce are back with more screen time...and terrible dialogue.

Arnold: I'll be back (for about the third or fourth time in the movie)
Bruce: No, you've been back enough! I'll be back.
Arnold: *eye roll* Yippee-ki-yay

Geesh.

Back in the swing of things

To my dear (and few) blog readers, thank you so much for your patience. Even if you didn't realize you were being patient, I think you were, so that's all that matters. I've been out of the movie game for far too long. I got all caught up in my AnneVSAndrea blog and suddenly found that flicks were being ignored! UNACCEPTABLE!
I'm going to try and get us caught up with a couple of 'summer blockbusters' Brave and The Amazing Spider-Man. So look for those in the next couple of days!

Snow White vs Snow White PART II!!!

I was going to write two separate posts for Mirror, Mirror and Snow White and the Huntsman, but after seeing the latter I've come to the conclusion that the posts need to be combined into one giant Snow White extravaganza! Why, you may ask? With the movies having almost identical plots and so many compare and contrast points it just makes way more sense to do it this way.

In both flicks the titular heroine has to rescue her kingdom from the clutches of her evil stepmother (one's definitely more evil than the other, but more on that in a minute). In Mirror, Mirror it's Lily Collins, while Kristen Stewart is Snow White in Snow White and the Huntsman . To be quite honest, Lily Collins wins this one. Granted, Stewart did try, I just don't think she quite has the chops to carry this movie, there was something missing there, although to be fair there actually were a lot of things missing in this movie (it was all over the place). Collins lucked out here, Mirror, Mirror is a charming family-type fairy tale, and it didn't try to be anything more than that. It let her go from naive shut-in to kinda kick-ass princess. And she didn't have to put on chain mail to prove that point.

What's the Snow White story without the Evil Stepmother? Nothing! Julia Roberts in Mirror, Mirror really had no chance to win this one out against Charlize Theron's Ravenna in Huntsman. While Roberts' Evil Queen is a terrible person who taxes her kingdom into poverty, verbally and emotionally abuses her stepdaughter and turns poor Nathan Lane into a cockroach, she's just not that evil. She's past her prime and refuses to admit it, like the ladies on all those Housewives of... (or at least I that's an apt analogy, I've never watched any of those shows) Theron's Ravenna on the other hand has that whole 'terrible beauty' thing going on and makes no qualms about her outright evilness. I mean she literally sucks the youth from the girls in the kingdom. Her castle is all obsidian and spiky, she also wears a spiky crown and necklaces made of crow skulls, clear signs of evil folks. You know, I wonder if they had dressed Julia Roberts in spikes and black and stuff instead of peacock outfits...nope, not even then. Both actresses were over the top in their performances, it worked for Theron, not so much for Roberts.

Next up are the dwarves. Something extremely interesting that I noticed between the two flicks is that in Mirror, Mirror they cast little actors to play the dwarves. The characters then wore this crazy springy stilt things to be bandits in the woods, aaaand make themselves taller. In Huntsman they cast regular sized actors as the dwarves and then used technology to shrink them down. It was just one of those 'huh' moments for me. To each their own I guess. Anyways, the dwarves in Mirror, Mirror are more classic Snow White dwarves, they take Snow White in, let her stay etc. Then they teach her to fight and steal (they're bandits, it's what they know) and all that jazz. In Huntsman the dwarves lead Snow White and the Huntsman into a magical forest where she meets a stag, for some reason (seriously, this movie was all over the place). 

Let me just say this, I'm a Chris Hemsworth fan. He's Australian, he's handsome aaaaand he's Thor. But in Snow White and The Huntsman, meh. He's supposed to kill her, he ends up falling for her, awfully convenient considering at the beginning his find is full of his dear dead wife. I don't know, I guess it just speaks to the general plot disconnect in the movie. Armie Hammer in Mirror, Mirror on the other hand. Wow. You may know him as the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network, but did you know this dude is hilarious? He stole the whole movie for me.

These days every movie with any hint of romance requires a triangular plot apparently. Mirror, Mirror has one that I've seen before in Snow White: Snow, The Prince and the Queen. Here Snow and the Prince fall for each other, but the Queen wants to prove her youthfulness and maybe get some cash from a rich kingdom and tricks the Prince into falling for her, then everything works out in the end, like a fairy tale should. In Snow White and the Huntsman the triangle seemed awfully contrived. Snow and her childhood friend William have held candles for each other, even though they've been separated by time and distance. Then the Huntsman spends some time with Snow and falls for her, of course.

Soooo, by now I've made it fairly clear that I preferred Mirror, Mirror far above Snow White and the Huntsman. It's not just that I preferred all elements, save Charlize Theron's Queen, it's also that Huntsman was trying far to hard to be a movie that it really wasn't. You could practically hear some scenes scream 'LOOK HOW EPIC I AM!' There were even some blatant LOTR (sorry, that's Lord of the Rings for the non-nerds reading this) ripoffs where Snow, the Huntsman, William and the dwarves are walking over Middle Earth-like hills and dales. I couldn't help but shake my head. Perhaps if they had focussed the story a tad instead of trying to be something else it would have worked better. Mirror, Mirror certainly isn't perfect, but I found it a more enjoyable film. It knew it was funny take on a fairy tale and went with that, and pulled it off pretty well.

HEY!

You know what this post is. Say it with me, "Sorry, I'm so behind on posting" blah blah blah. At least this time I have good excuses!! I've been busy working on my challenge blog with my lovely friend Anne over at http://annevsandrea.blogspot.com AND working on other writing as well. Alas, my poor Matinee Monday got ignored in the fray!

I'm heading out to see Snow White and the Huntsman for my matinee today, so you will definitely see a post for that today or tomorrow, plus I'll have my post for Mirror, Mirror [the other Snow White flick] up as well.

That being said I have a few other posts that are half done and am trying to decide if I should go ahead an finish them and post them, or if they're past their expiration date. Do you want to read the posts on Cabin in the Woods, The Hunger Games or The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel? Let me know!

Animation goes spoooooky

While I struggle with my other feature reviews lets do some more trailer reviews! Looks like those of us who are fans of fun spooky animation are going to be in for some treats this year!
First, in August we get to meet Norman, aka ParaNorman, a lonely social outcast who can see ghosts and ghouls. He has to summon up his powers to help save his town when an evil witch raises a zombie army. YAY! Colour me excited!

Then in September, we're all going to pack up our bags and head out to Hotel Transylvania. Dracula has set up a five stake resort for him and his spooky buddies to get away from the everyday hustle and bustle of being monsters. It's the lap of luxury and most importantly they can be themselves, that is, until Jonathan shows up and ruins everything. Also, it looks like we're staging an SNL reunion with the voice cast of this movie which features [among many others] Adam Sandler, David Spade, Molly Shannon and Andy Samberg. Most excitingly for me is that this movie is directed by Genndy Tartakovsky. I love this man. He brought me some of the greatest animated series of all time, including Dexter's Lab, Powerpuff Girls  and my all time favourite Samurai Jack, of which I am still waiting impatiently for a movie to be made. [Maybe if this does well, it will be? EVERYONE SEE THIS MOVIE!]

Last but most certainly not least comes Tim Burton's Frankenweenie in October. Here's the thing about this one. I do love Tim Burton, his movies make me all kinds of happy, but I've already seen this one. Seriously, he made it back in 1984 as short film, and if like me you own the deluxe version of Nightmare Before Christmas then you've probably seen it already too. It's the story of Victor who brings his dog back Sparky back to life. I can only assume that there's more going on in the feature version, and of course I'll go see it, due to the aforementioned love of all things Burton, but still...seen it.

What do you think? Excited for this year's crop of spooky animated movies? Any other animated movies you're excited about this year?

AVENGERS!

Assemble up, true believers! It's time for another Marvel movie, and let me tell you know, they've seriously outdone themselves this time! If you've seen the five 2-hour trailers [Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: First Avenger and to a lesser extent the Edward Norton Hulk movie] leading up to this epic event you might have an idea of the awesomeness in store. So, on Sunday, around 20 of my Browncoat friends [for you muggles, that's fans of Joss Whedon's Firefly and Joss in general] met up at the theatre to revel in Joss' big budget feature. So, if you were at the 6:10 show at Metrotown on Sunday, I apologise, you honestly can't take us out in public, but you have to admit, we were having a good time, right?!
In all honesty it's been a very long time since I've had such a good time at a movie. The theatre was full of people who were ready to be entertained, and entertained we were. We laughed, we clapped, we outright cheered, it's just that type of flick. The action starts right at the beginning and that pace doesn't really let up for the rest of the 142 minutes. By now, I'm sure you know the basic premise of Avengers, Loki [Tom Hiddleston] has assembled a space army to take over the Earth and the only people who can stop it are a band of misfit would-be heroes, Captain America [Chris Evans], Iron Man [Robert Downey Jr.] , Thor [Chris Hemsworth], the Hulk [Mark Ruffalo], Black Widow [Scarlett Johansen] and Hawkeye [Jeremy Renner]. As a huge comic fangirl there were so many moments that just made me so happy. When Cap and Hulk first arrive at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, a massive aircraft carrier, I leaned to my neighbour and whispered, "It would be so much better if that was the heli-carrier" Mere moments later I was clapping with joy as it transformed and rose into the sky! Well played Mr. Whedon, well played.
What Joss has done so well, [that's right, not only did he direct this movie, he co-wrote it as well] as he often does, is mix snappy, funny dialogue with some serious character building and throw a whole bunch of action on top. Despite the fact that all of these characters have featured in their own movie or had cameos in those movies they still have a lot of growing to do to become The Avengers.
There's poor, disillusioned Steve Rogers [Captain America]. In his own movie he was so young and idealistic, but now, pulled into a new century, away from everything he knows and loves, he's a bit lost. He needs to find something new to fight for.
Bruce Banner [The Hulk] is still fighting 'the other guy' for control of his own body and consciousness. Let me tell you, Hulk is SO much better in small doses. I enjoyed his character SO much in this film, more than his other two flicks put together. I think we can all only take so much, "oh woe is me and my gamma radiation poisoning". That being said he gets some of the best lines in this movie.
Thor is still Thor. He's far less arrogant than in his movie, but he is still a freaking God, and a powerful one at that. He's still trying to come to terms with the brother he grew up with to this new treacherous and dangerous Loki that's taken his little brother's place.

Tony Stark [Iron Man] actually has the biggest character arc in this flick. The thing about Tony that we love is also the thing that makes it hard for him to be a member of a team; his outrageous and  narcissistic intelligence. Inside he is a good guy, I mean, you don't don't become a hero if you're bad news, you become a villain. However, over the course of the movie he starts to realise that he needs trust other people's intelligence, like Dr. Banner's and other people's leadership, like Cap's. Don't worry though, he doesn't lose any of that awesome Stark cockiness. 

Black Widow and Hawkeye kind of get the short end of the character growth in this movie. We still don't know that much about them, and not a whole lot is revealed in the movie either. Especially with Hawkeye spending half the movie not being himself. That being said they still show that they can hold their own in the big battle for Earth.
Speaking of that battle, thank goodness for CGI. Poor New York took an absolute BEATING in the final battle sequence of this movie, buildings toppled, rubble EVERYWHERE. It's all kinds of amazing. And even during this all-out battle to end all battles there are still a bunch of laugh out loud lines. It really is the type of action movie I would like to watch every time.
Marvel, I must doff my imaginary hat to you, I think after some mishaps a little while ago with some other characters movies, you've really come into your own. Also, I'm all kinds of impressed that you were able to find time when all of these busy actors were available AT THE SAME TIME to film this movie. Seriously, these are not nobody actors who have nothing better to do than be that character, they're all in pretty high demand!
So, to end this very long and probably overly favourable review, GO SEE THE AVENGERS! And if you've already seen it, go again! Nothing makes us Browncoats happier than seeing our beloved leader succeed, go Joss go! And for the LOVE OF GOD, don't leave before the end of the credits! This is a Marvel movie people, there is ALWAYS something after the credits.

I know, I know, I know...

Sooooo, I'm seriously behind again. I wish I had a really good excuse, but I sure don't.
Right now I'm coming down from an 'Avengers' adrenaline high, but I'm pretty sure it'll be the first one I write tomorrow. I would write it RIGHT NOW, but it would be filled with so many enthusiastic 'awesome's and 'amazing's that it would be a tad ridiculous. [Seriously, folks, I want to see it again, like RIGHT NOW] But I do have several late ones on the way as well. I'm hoping that once I get going with the first review I'll be able to power through the others.
Here's what's coming up!
-Avengers
-Hunger Games
-Mirror, Mirror
-paranormal animation
-Cabin in the Woods
-and maybe Wrath of the Titans...we'll see.

See you soon!

John Carter

I know I'm quite late with this review, but I've been at a bit of a loss as to what to say about this flick... So, here's the thing with John Carter, Disney spent A LOT of money on this flick, like a lot a lot, like $250 million a lot. Aaaand as we're all painfully aware, nowadays if a movie like this doesn't "win the weekend" it has it's distributors scratching their heads. When it only makes $30M domestically, it's apparently considered a flop. So, needless to say, I came into this movie with a fair amount of trepidation. I'd seen the many trailers [Disney also spent a TON on marketing, to no avail it would seem], and I like Taylor Kitsch, I mean the guy's from Kelowna! Gotta support the locals! Also, the director is Andrew Stanton, the man who not only brought me Finding Nemo [my favourite Disney flick!] but Wall-E as well, all the ticks in the pro column were there for me. So, despite the negative reviews I decided to hit up a matinee.
The movie is based on Princess of Mars written by Edgar Rice Burroughs [yes, of Tarzan fame], which apparently has inspired many a fantasy and sci-fi writer throughout the years. And I guess I can understand why, it was pretty ahead of its time. It tells the story of an American Civil War soldier who, after his family is killed, defects from the army...which I understand is not a very good idea. After a series of getting caught and escaping from the army he gets transported to Barsoom [apparently that's what Martians call Mars]. Once there he gets entangled in yet another Civil War. He becomes a pivotal piece for both sides as he has super human powers on Barsoom since he's, well, human. Although, his main power seems to be that he can jump really high, but hey, I'd take it.
****returned and written at a MUCH later date****
Okay, I'm back trying to finish this review, and I think the main problem I'm having is that I was raised by parents who taught me that "if I didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Which probably isn't that good a trait in someone who's writing reviews, but oh well. I mean if the movie was truly terrible I would let you know, but the fact of the matter is that John Carter is just one of those middle of the road family action movies. The effects really were wonderful, making the civilization on Barsoom come alive. The acting wasn't terrible, I mean, it certainly won't win any awards. I think the problem with movies with so many visual effects is that they often overshadow the actual actors, which may have been the case here. If you really want to see Taylor Kitsch act his pants off, DO NOT wait for Battleship [*eye roll*] to come out this summer people, watch The Bang Bang Club instead.
I think that's about all I have to say about this. So, to sum up, John Carter is a middle of the road family action flick that will probably do quite well come home distribution time because it IS a good way to escape for 132 minutes, but certainly isn't anything extra-special.

New trailers that make me excited!

As the title suggests, I have a few more trailers that have caught my eye and have made me feel all giddy and excited! And I'm still trying to bang out my posts for Game of Thrones season one and John Carter, so here's some filler!
Number one! Tim Burton and Johnny Depp's new venture: 'Dark Shadows'. Already excited? I know I am, all I need to hear is those two names together and I'm all over it like pb on jelly! [or is it jelly on pb...? whatever] It has a pretty outstanding cast [Depp, Susan Sarandon, Jonny Lee Miller, Eva Green, Chloe Moretz, and of course, Helena Bonham Carter] and is apparently based on a TV show from the 70s that I've never heard of. Have a look!

Cool right? 

Number two! This my very first post about a video game, and I'm kinda excited about it. I don't play a lot of video games, but there is one franchise that I'm kinda obsessed with: Ubisoft's Assassin's Creed. It's all kinds of amazing, and follows the adventures of the Assassins as they fight against the tyranny of the Templars, and jumps between slightly-in-the-future and various past eras. All of the instalments feature Desmond Miles in the slightly-in-the-future portions, who is a descendant of a long line of assassins, but the more fun parts happen in the past. The last instalment featured Ezio Auditore, who is all kinds of badass, scaling buildings, flying off towers, being super sneaky and assassinating people. He was awesome, but his story is done, and I was kind of sad about that...but look what we get now...

Effing sa-sweeeeet, riiiight?!!? I can't really express how supremely excited I am for this sucker, I wish it was October RIGHT NOW! Even if you aren't a gamer, you have to admit, the graphics are pretty frakking impressive.

That's all for now!....

I LIED! Here's one of the many Game of Thrones season two trailers to tide us all over til April 1st. 

Snow White VS Snow White

So, as you have probably noticed, Hollywood is re-embracing the fairytale. Not that fairytales have ever really fallen out of popularity, they're retold and repurposed often, actually this reminds me...*runs away from the computer*

Aaaand I'm back! I just had to go put on my all-time favourite fairytale retelling, The 10th Kingdom, for a little background entertainment while I write. In 2000 Hallmark released this amazing miniseries that combined all the classic fairytales in an epic journey that reminded me how much I really loved all them. That being said, it probably won't surprise you that I have most definitely been following ABC's Once Upon a Time although Grimm just hasn't captured my attention. And it isn't just TV that's getting into that old fairytale feeling, they're making a come back on the big screen too! YAY! With Snow White and the Huntsman and Mirror, Mirror coming to a theatre near you this summer! Wait, hold on a second...I think...let's watch the trailers.

So, it would seem, for some reason, with alllll the options out there two movies about Snow White are going to be coming out in the same summer. I mean, sure, she's the fairest of them all, and all that jazz, and I know Hollywood generally has a hard time being original, but seriously? Don't these people talk to each other? Maybe they figured we all love fairytales so much that we wouldn't notice they were making movies with the same characters that will surely come out within weeks of each other. Sadly, what I'm sure what it will come down to is who makes the most money, as it always does in Tinseltown.

As previously mentioned, I do love fairytales, so it's more than likely that I will see both these movies. So let's see what the trailers are telling me...
Snow White and the Huntsman: Charlize "The Evil Queen" Theron rules a kingdom with her beauty ['beauty is my power'] and when her cool liquid mirror tells her there's another that might eventually rival her beauty and she should 'consume her heart' to 'live forever'. Just so happens that this 'other' is Kristen Stewart...who kind of drives me crazy, but that's only because of how godawful the character of Bella Swan is [Yes, I've watched the Twilight "Saga", yes, I know I should know better]. So, I suppose I should give her the chance to redeem herself, I'm openminded that way. Plus we have the handsome Chris Hemsworth with what sounds like a Scottish accent, so that might've sold me right there. And there look to be some good ol' fashioned battles happening in there...Let's call this movie a fairytale epic, 'cause that seems to be what it thinks it is.
Mirror Mirror: Let's be honest folks, the movie looks WAY more fun than the last one! I love a little humour from my Evil Queens, especially when they are Julia Roberts! Plus we've got Nathan Lane and Armie Hammer in there. Dancing, exquisite costumes, looks like good times to me! Plus Lily Collins seems much more Snow White-y to me than Stewart. But what really seals this movie [that I will dub a fairytale adventure, which is MUCH different from a fairytale epic] as the winner for me, even though you don't see him, is Sean Bean as the King. What can I say I love me some Eddard Stark! [Winter is Coming]
What do you think? Going to see either of these fairytale flicks when they hit theatres this summer?

Let's play catch up!

It's been a ridiculously long time since I posted a post. And honestly I have no excuses to give other than the fact that I've been lazy and a tad uninspired. That being said, I think it's time to get back on track and get this sucker going again aaand maybe in a little bit different way. 
No, I'm not switching over to talking about music [mostly because I listen to music I like and am not overly discerning in that area] but I do think I might add TV to ye olde list of things to be reviewed. There are some pretty impressive shows out there right now, mainly on fancy American cable channels, but that doesn't make them any less awesome. Actually, as a Canadian, anything from a fancy American cable channel is instantly more cool, we're susceptible to that kind of peer pressure from southernly neighbours [with a u!] that way.
I think I'll also start talking more about trailers, mostly 'cause I think they are often hilarious, even though they're really not trying to be. But not to worry, I'll still be chatty [and you know how chatty I can be! *wink*] about movies too! That's going to be our bread and butter still! Until next time, get to the theatre!